By guest blogger Jane Fulton.
A woman’s intuition is a powerful thing. Us women can sense when something isn’t right, and not only that, we are fantastic at getting to the source of the truth.
Research on non-verbal communication skills has clearly shown that women are, as a group, better at reading facial expressions than men are. As a result, women are more likely to notice the subtle emotional messages being sent by others. If I have learned anything from my disaster dates, then it has to be: always go with my gut instinct.
I had been dating Sean for six months. It wasn’t a perfect relationship, but I persevered because I know relationships take work. The reason why it wasn’t perfect was that he didn’t have a romantic bone in his body. What he did have was humour, and they do say laughter can be the way to the heart.
I had met Sean when I was working as a TV researcher. I had been sent to interview him about the Commonwealth Games being held in Glasgow in 2014 – he was a basketball player.
Now, Sean was 6 ft. 4”, good-looking, and hilarious. He was childish throughout the relationship, sometimes I felt like I was dealing with a toddler. Nonetheless, you forget those moments when there are enough good times in a relationship.
One thing about Sean was that he never had money. He always said he spent a fortune on his sport, and he was a student, so that didn’t leave much for himself. Our dates consisted of visiting each other – mostly me driving to him – and not actually going out.
I decided to take him out of his familiar surroundings and book a hotel; I wanted him to relax because he’d been training more than usual. As I had booked the hotel, he said he would treat us to dinner (that would be a first). When we arrived at the hotel, he said he didn’t want to go out for dinner and would prefer a takeaway, so he could spend more time in the hotel with me.
It turned out that was a lie, the reason was he hated eating in public. Even though the dishes get washed, he didn’t like the thought of other people he didn’t know having eaten off a plate he was being served.
He told me to relax in the bath, and he would come back with a takeaway. Now, I am thinking Italian, Thai, Chinese…nope, he came back with a McDonald’s. The reason why he chose this cuisine was that it didn’t involve using plates from the hotel kitchen. The romantic night I had planned turned unromantic the moment I found out we were dining in with a McDonald’s. I paid £150 for the hotel, and he spent £15. You may think £15 is steep for McDonald’s, but he got a large meal, sides, and McFlurry for himself, while I got a medium-sized meal.
I had hoped, once his competition was over, he would be more romantic. One could always hope. Sean was adamant that we shouldn’t be Facebook friends because his last girlfriend was psycho and was always questioning his innocent statuses – that was a warning sign right there.
Why is it that the women get called psychos when it’s the men who made those women lose control? Men start to act secretive, and that’s when the female intuition kicks in. My friend, Louise, is incredible at sussing out men. She honestly should be in the FBI. I just have to give her a name and five minutes later, she has images, related comments, blood and urine, family history, and shoe size – she is very impressive, my very own Sherlock Holmes. We aren’t psychos, we are psychics.
Sean said he was still feeling anxious about letting any of his relationships into his private life. Okay, that’s fine; I was curious to know what he was hiding but just brushed it aside. He said, out of interest, can I see your Facebook, so I let him take a look. He went through my pictures asking me to send some so he could keep them on his phone.
When he got to one picture of me and a girl I went to college with, he stalled. He asked how I knew her. Lesley and I had studied together. I asked him if he knew her, but he said no, she just looked like someone he knew. I instantly knew he was lying. His body language had changed, and I was determined to find the underlying cause of it. I could tell he did know her; it was so obvious that he was lying.
The next morning, I messaged Lesley asking if she knew Sean, and she replied back saying he was dating her best friend, Ashley. Lesley continued on to ask how I knew him. I felt sick. My instinct had been right. I was so upset that he had been cheating on me. All those times he had said he was putting in extra hours at training had been a lie. He had been with her.
When I replied to Lesley telling her I was dating him, she instantly called and asked me for how long? Turned out he had been dating Ashley just as long as he had been dating me. The utter wanker. My friend put me in touch with Ashley. We were both in shock he had played us along for all that time. I had been nervous about speaking to Ashley, because I didn’t want it to turn into a screaming match. We were both innocent and hadn’t known about each other. Luckily, Ashley was lovely, and neither of us could understand why we hadn’t left him sooner – we had both had the same doubts.
Of course, Sean denied it. He told me she was a psycho, then told her I was a psycho. Did the idiot not remember us telling him we were in touch with each other?
He even had the cheek to try to get us both back a few months down the line. I messaged her saying Sean was trying to get back with me, and she said he had sent her the same message. That boy had some nerve.
The Girls Chat
Jane – Sean is a PRICK! I swear this time, I AM DONE WITH MEN!
Louise – Caps are on, you must be livid. What happened? Senga – About time you got rid of him, whatever it is will be a blessing in disguise
Weejo – At this point, can I say I’ve never liked him Jane – He’s been seeing me and another girl at the same time. How do guys like this get away with it for so long? I actually know the girl now – she’s really nice
Louise – I bet he was making her pay for all his food as well
Senga – He’s probably been living like a king with all that money spent on him by both of you
Weejo – Jane, please in future never buy things for a guy, unless you 100% trust him
Tips
- If your date/partner doesn’t want to add you on his social media be suspicious; they may be hiding something.
- If you have found out a partner has cheated, block and delete their number, so you are not tempted to message them.
- Listen to your intuition; I always felt something wasn’t right.
*Jaded Dating Note: Jane is a very close friend of mine who has just released her debut book ’30 reasons to swipe left’! ‘Eat, sleep, cheat and repeat’ is a chapter from this hilarious dating book which is available now on Amazon that you can now get paperback or kindle here
JADED DATING 