Things guys have said to me in dating

Something that has come up often over the years of dating is things that have been said to us on dating apps, on first dates, in bars or even surprisingly by someone we are seeing. There has been 100s of times I have screen shot messages and sent to my friend and in writing this blog, I regret my new phone earlier this year as there must be so much there that I have blocked out. I laugh these comments off or question / snap back at things said to my face but I know I am lucky enough to have this type of reaction and if anything did bother or upset me, I have people to talk to but many don’t. Many are already fragile and low in confidence when dating and the unkind things are said can be detrimental.

I missed a trick here with not writing this post last week on World Kindness Day as the dating scene is absolutely problematic with many using their energy to be unkind and hurtful.

To keep this simple, I am simply going to share things that have been said to me by guys  and not give an explanation on who said them, when, what lead to this (if anything) or my response. Just as an example of the things that are said on dating apps or after the third beer on a first date or worse, as someone starts to show their true colours in the early stages.

 “You’re built like fag paper and have nae tits.”

“You look vanilla.”

“You’re a provocative dresser aren’t you?”

“Hmmm… you look too thin for me.”

“I’d prefer if you were thin”

“Hen, pull your finger out and message me cause  your clock is ticking”

“Oh dear, I liked you until I saw you had a cat.”

“I bet you’d push a baby out no bother”

“You’re limbs are long for your body.”

“I just prefer girls that are dead thin”

 “Why is your hair so blonde?”

“Does your lipstick have to be so bright?”

 “People with tattoos have zero personality” {While looking at my tattoos}

“I bet you’re intimidating. Guys won’t like that.”

“You seem nice but bet you like being flung about like an empty pair of trackies.”

There we have it, the few that come to mind but I know there is so much more that is in a filing box in the back of my mind and no doubt I will do a part 2 of this… or pop on and edit after shower thoughts.

Is this flirting? The ‘treat em mean keep em keen’ thing? I have been both fat shamed and skinny shamed and on first impressions I am really boring or intimidating. My response when I was told “I bet you’re intimidating. Guys won’t like that” was “Good!” and strutted away.

I’ve asked girls before if they have ever had unkind comments on a facebook community group I am in and the response was insane with girls being body shamed and messages about their forehead or the dress they had on. Single guy mates of mine have told me awful things that girls have said to them on dating apps so this isn’t a guy shaming post- it is a people shaming post.

Let me know in the comments insane, mean, stupid, unkind things that have been said to you on dating apps or dates.

Be Kind, Jaded xx