The Cat Lady

Cats: They don’t talk-the-talk, they walk-the-walk

I’m single and own a cat. I adore her. She is called Dusty and is utterly gorgeous (see below). My Instagram is 75% cat pictures. I happily sat through the ‘100 greatest cat photos’ while sipping coffee from my Marie (The cat from Aristocrats) mug. I admit that I am a crazy cat lady. Is this because I am single? Absolutely not. I have always been and always will be cat daft. Cats are brilliant.

There is a certain stigma attached to women, especially if they are single that love cats. Hearing the term “cat lady” one often pictures a frazzled old spinster that never found love or had children and therefore obsesses about her cats (plural as they are always expected to have around 4 or 5) I can’t help but think of the cat lady from The Simpsons:

Or there is this singe lady who talks about her love for cats on her E-Harmony profile video:

Okay, this is hilarious and no doubt there are women (and men) out there like that but that is certainly not me. In fact, most of the women I know, around my age that love their kitty and share adorable cat memes on Facebook are beautiful, intelligent, and funny and are in happy committed relationships. I think it’s time to change the stigma of “crazy cat lady”. I think myself and these ladies are actually more cat-like: gorgeous, playful, intimate, smart, independent and graceful. I recently found a cat oracle.

“The cat reminds you of independence and to set healthy boundaries. Love with freedom-do not look to own what you desire, for too much attachment can lead to loss. The cat lends you her power to live freely and to remember that the adventure is just the beginning. Don’t forget that the cat has nine lives and always lands on its feet. It manages to get up unscathed from a fall, no matter what happens.  On this leg of your journey, you will emerge safe and sound. Live freely, love without unhealthy attachment and remember that the cat is your companion, you may fully immense yourself in life, for there will be many more lives to come.”

How beautiful and inspiring is this? I like to think of myself as being cat-like in life and especially in dating. Now, I don’t mean to offend anyone here but I would like to bring dog lovers into this for argument sake. Usually, people are either a cat or dog person. You can like them both of course but a person is usually one or the other. I remember a friend of mine once claimed dog people as “needy”. Another friend of mine (A major dog lover) recently said she was like her dog: loud, loves everyone and anyone and always needing attention and then she said I was like my cat. She actually said “You are like Dusty. You just walk in to a room, say nothing and everyone loves you.” I wish this was actually the case at all times. However, I see what she is getting at. Now I am brought to mind of the clip from ‘Meet the parents’ when the dad compares cats and dogs to people:

“Cats make you work for their affection, they don’t sell out the way dogs do.” Yes, yes, yes. Let’s compare cat types and dog types in dating. Dating is tough, there is no right or wrong and we all make the mistakes is fine. However, you know the old saying “Treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen”? Well, there is some truth in it. Please don’t for a second you have to be rude or literally say mean things, but to me the “treat ‘em mean” is not to be too available, too keen, too needy…..too dog like? Be more cat, make them work for your affection, do your own thing and show your appreciation when you are with them. Just the simple things in dating, the early stages try to be cat-like. Please see my table below. The Dog-like dater is grateful for any attention from someone and the cat-like dater knows her worth.

The Dog-Like DaterThe Cat-Like Dater
She will cancel a prior plan for a date to suit him

She will get a taxi at 3am across town to see him

She will call him a few times, send a whatsapp, like his status and leave a voicemail because she hasn’t heard from him today

Needs Approval

She will tell him about every moment of her day, including what she ate that day and the funny story from Carole in the office and how awful Julie’s new haircut is.

You piss her off? She cries and tries to explain why and is mad at you

She has repeatedly said her name with his surname and made sure the name goes nicely with the kids names she has had picked out since she was 14.

Tells him her feelings

She chases him

Always wants attention
After 2 dates she has deleted all the numbers in her phone of previous dates

A committed relationship is the obvious goal

What Dignity?

She lets him know when she is available and hopes he is too. If not another time, no rush.

He happily comes to where she is

She is happy to hear from him and responds but keeps the ’15 Minute rule’ * in mind for the first text back/call back

Take me or Leave is her way

She confidently says she had a fantastic day and asks how his was. He’s a little curious.

You piss her off? She walks away and  scratches your car

She can’t remember his last name.

Makes him guess

She is chased

Wants it when she wants it and on her terms

Out exploring and happy to see what happens

Never loose dignity.

*The ’15 minute rule’ is what it says on the packet. Wait 15 minutes before messaging back to his first message. (Don’t want him thinking you were sitting looking at your phone waiting on his text)

In life, work, friendships and especially in dating, ignore 02 and be more cat-like. A cat is able to climb and jump and explore freely but dogs are earthbound. Don’t fall in love with the first person to give you attention, see what is out there. The table may make the cat-like dater come across as quite mean. I do not mean it to at all. The cat is just independent and the claws a retractable-they only come out for defence and play.

Being a “Cat Lady” does not mean you’re unlovable and desperate. It is the exact opposite; you are smart and free and know your worth. I am proud to say I am a cat lady. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, guys can be cat ladies too!

Published by Jaded Dating

A Jaded, optimistic bitch on the classic quest. A forever single city girl sharing her experiences on the dating scene with a goal to relate to other singles and remain positive

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