My Stereotypes: Part 2.

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From previous posts, a most popular of mine has been my ‘Guy Stereotypes’ blog. Both guys and girls have enjoyed this and been able to match people they knew personally to ‘The Glasgow Boy’, ‘The Scientist’ and ‘The Perfectionist’. This post is probably one of my favourites-second to Cat lady. I enjoyed writing this and has probably been the time when I have based my writing on my own experiences.
This article was written over 2 years ago and unfortunately, in that time, I have remained, for the most part single. However, living in a world of Tinder means that I have never been without dates and the variety of men never fails to amaze. Luckily for my readers, I see the funny side of my dating fails and I have even more types of guys to share with you. And just like before, each of these guys are extremely different-all bad and good in their own unique and exasperating ways. Again, in no particular order:

The ‘House Music Lover’ {Basic Bitch}

The first impression I have on this one is usually ‘Hot’. He works out. A lot. Like every day.
Sometimes twice a day. At first, it’s great to add him on Snapchat. Oh, look he is off to the gym and that vest is showing off his muscular shoulders and just enough toned pecs to get my eyebrows rising. Then you notice the tribal tattoo-probably on his chest and down his ribs or even worse on his neck or the lower back. The ‘House Music Lover’ is always booked to go to Ibiza for at least 14 nights but will probably have 2 separate holidays there over the summer. The ‘House Music lover’ is usually pretty successful, such as an engineer or account manager -something to afford Ibiza and all the club nights and all the fashion required for such nights. Okay so, he loves Ibiza, house music and going to the gym? I like those things too. That isn’t too bad, what else?… Well, there is NOTHING ELSE. Their life is only Ibiza and the body preparation for this trip. The snapchats are repetitive of shoulder revealing vests to the gym, protein shakes, recent Nike purchase and perhaps a video of a “tune” taken off the radio whilst driving. One his worst days, he will kiss his bicep for a gym locker room selfie. Every so often, he will shake things up a bit and have “a cheeky Nandos”. Once he realises you aren’t in to him, he will make a pass at your friends which isn’t good for anyone’s confidence.

The Friend

I won’t go into too much detail about this one. You meet a guy, perhaps through a friend or at work and you hit it off immediately. With “the friend” it always one of two situations: You don’t think you are attracted to him but over time, you have gotten to know him and his personally shines through and it’s the age old cliché… OR you fancy him immediately and then play it cool so much that you friend zone yourself. Most recently, I was the latter. The friend leads you into a false sense of security and after months, even years the chat becomes more frequent and flirty and then he stays over. Of course, in many ways this could be the ideal start to a wonderful relationship. If you do cross the boundaries with a friend, I cannot stress enough how important it is to talk about. If you don’t talk about, you will just assume you know what each other is thinking. Nothing good can come from assuming… And then you are likley to loose him as a friend too.

The Non Drinker

Please note this guy was not drinking for religious beliefs. This guy has chosen not to drink for health reasons and because he “doesn’t want to lose control”. “Perhaps I am a little alcoholic…” I think. “I should cut down to lose these few extra pound” I tell myself as I prepare for a coffee date. It’s a cold January and I am devastated to be leaving the house for anything other than Red Wine. Oh look how handsome he is and there is something intriguing about him so I can give this a shot. He is perfectly aware that I drink (perhaps not aware quite how much…) and he is making an effort so I should too. It starts off fairly normal with the non-drinker but I never feel relaxed and most of my best ice-breaker stories start with “This one time we ordered 20 jagerbombs and then…” but I don’t feel like I can tell these stories. This guy is tense too. He really seems to need a drink. Then out of the blue, a few days after the first date, the non-drinker messages to revel how much he enjoys “being in control” and details extreme S&M situations he would like me to get into with him. I am no prude but I am very uncomfortable with full on messages like these. Call me old fashioned, but I like consent in the bedroom. Without a drink, I can’t even pretend to be okay with this conversation. It really is always the quiet ones. *Deletes number and pours myself a large glass of wine*

The Guy with a Girlfriend

You meet a guy. Perhaps in a bar or on the train or in Urban Outfitters. This is never a tinder guy. He makes the first moves. He asks for your number. He texts, he calls. You’re getting on great. It’s fun and easy and your friends like him and you arre starting to wonder if your kids will have his blue eyes. Feeling happy and positive. No telling how far in it will come, usually just as you feel comfortable and get excited about this guy, you find out he has a girlfriend. He may have had the balls to tell you himself but more likely you find out through the art of Facebook /Instagram stalking. No matter what his reasons {Excuses} are for cheating, no matter how attracted you are to each other, how much of a spark there is, how hopelessly unhappy he is in his current relationship, leave. Leave for sisterhood and leave for yourself. You don’t deserve a guy who treats relationships like that.

The Entrepreneur

Oh my goodness, a man my age that actually has passion and bit of drive about him. FINALLY. I am so bored of these basic man bitches who claim house music as a passion and it is so refreshing to meet a man who has a genuine passion. Something that sparks his interest, his brown eyes sparkle when he talks about it. There is a fire in there that gets him up in the morning and ensures he is going to be the best he can possibly be. His dreams and ambitions make him very desirable and you know he is going to be successful and most importantly, happy. Dates don’t tend to be spontaneous with the entrepreneur as his calendar is full, he’s not yet at the stage where he can pay people to do his website and respond to enquiries. When you are on a date and pop to the ladies, there is a 98% chance he is back on his phone checking emails and responding to enquiries. The Entrepreneur is really something great but too early on in his business then you will not be a priority- gotta catch them at the right time.

The Academic

This one depends on exactly what stage they are of their academic career so I will generalise as much as possible. This guy has an over inflated sense of self-worth and unless you are very interested in his specialist subject then it probably won’t work. This is why academics tend to marry fellow academics in their subject. He will have confrences all over the world, brings marking home and you know at least one student will have a crush on him and you can’t ask for a Kylie Jenner lipkit and Anastasia Contour kit without him asking you to reason it and refrence reviews.

The Nice-got his shit together-No emotional Baggage One

This guy is charming, good looking but not so much in a way that you feel he is out of your league. He makes such an effort for the date, dressed impeccable and has everything booked. He makes you feel relaxed over dinner. He chooses a good wine. He compliments you. He listens and seems to be genuinely listening to what you are saying while smiling and reacting correctly. He like you. You can tell he really likes you. He has everything going for him. He has his shit together and is a nice,  normal, good guy. The kind of guy that would treat you like a princess and is basically putting his world and heart on a platter for you. Aww…. No thanks. I am bored.

The London Boy

I love a London accent on a boy. I also find English boys to be a lot more chilled out, flirty and take themselves less seriously than Scottish Boys (Sorry Guys.) Plus, English boys are always [usually] tall. Providing it is not a Birmingham or Yorkshire accent, I love that accent. The London boy has great stories to tell. There is a sense of adventure and optimism about a London Boy. A London boy would make a best friend but as for dating? You are never sure if the date is actually on until the same day as you don’t speak every day. The date is going swimmingly and then suddenly is finished. Everything is rushed and nothing is ever planned too far in advance. I love to be kept on my toes but London way of dating is a whole different ball game to me and I am not sure if I can quite keep up.

 

I wonder if there is any more types out there or have I literally dated every type of guy there is? …

Wait, The Prince. I am still to date a Prince.

 

 

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